James Says / Amelie Says

James, to Nana Jana: Are you a mama?
Nana Jana: I'm Crystal's mama. 
James: Oh
Nana Jana: And Grandma Mary is Sam's mama. 
James: Oh
Nana Jana: And I'm Aunt Holly's mama.
James: [pause] Are you JC's mama? 
We thought that was pretty smart. 

At breakfast, James Amelie had scrambled eggs &  a roll with marmalade on their plates. 
JAMES: Salad dressing! I need salad dressing!
ME: What for? 
JAMES: Carrots! I need salad dressing and carrots right here!

James was saying "Yo ho ho," and I repeated "Yo ho ho" in a funny voice. James said, "You can't say that! Only pirates can say that!" 

James was lying on top of me & I put my arm around him.
James: Keep your hands to yourself.
Me: What?
James: That's what my teacher says. My teacher Ms. Annika. 
Me: But you're touching me.
James: No I'm not.

The kids were arguing in the car.
ME: What are you fighting over? Are you arguing about gum? 
KIDS: Yeah
ME: Is this imaginary gum? 
KIDS: Yeah
ME: Well then why don't you just imagine that you have more of it?
(Didn't work.) 

Amelie, talking about the "Happy Fayer! Day" card she wrote for Sam. "See that exclamation point? That's so he knows I really mean it."